I wake up on a nice Sunday morning happily at 10:30 am. In fact, I was even glad that I woke up early that Sunday, even more glad that I needn't cook that day cos we were visiting one of our friends for lunch. So, I still kept stretching in bed, cos it looked like there was not much to do anyways by waking up early. Next to me my husband was talking to his parents in India and I was half listening to the conversation and half asleep (no no no... I was not doing the evil act of spying or anything. I was just there and you know, how sound waves cannot be stopped and so they just hit my ears) . And I heard him talk about Vinayagar Chathurthi and 'What was special' at their end.
My brain woke up with a start, 'Wait, a minute... Did he just say Vinayagar Chathurthi!'. I woke up instantly and shouted 'When is it?' . He said 'Today.. Well, it is almost the end of the day in India.' I then barked at him for not letting me know earlier. I immediately called my mom and asked (well, I couldn't bark at her) her why she didn't tell me and I was kind of cursing the whole world for not letting me know. I was angry at everyone because I was actually angry over myself for missing the day. You must be wondering, 'Why so much tension? What if you had forgotten? It is ok'. But somehow I couldn't make myself feel that way. I felt utterly irresponsible, and mostly because Vinayagar is my favourite God. I am not sure if it is 'bakthi', but His thoughts have always made me feel good. It could be because of the stories that my grandmom used to tell me about him when I was a kid. It could be because of how she taught me how to bathe the idol and decorate him with flowers at our nearest temple. It could be because I used to amuse myself in collecting different mini idols of Him. It could be because his temple was very close to our house and I used to visit him almost everyday when I was in India. Whatever be the reason, I always felt a kinship with Vinayagar and missing his birthday felt like forgetting a clsoe friend's birthday.
Then we left for our friend's place, and yes they had finished the pooja and served us kolukattai. It did make me feel better, cos atleast that instilled a sense of festivity in me but still it was not the same. Things still didn't feel like how it is in India, like how it is at home. I did try to pacify Vinayagar by making kolukattai a week later, but I messed it up too. I looked at the messed up Kolukattai's and kept thinking that this doesn't feel like Vinyagar Chathurthi at all. (Now, at this point I see a spiral - symbolic for flashback in our Indian movies, and that brings to me memories of a typical Vinayagar Chathurthi at home)
The very first difference being, I would have known it is Vinayagar Chathurthi because that would have been a holiday and all the tv channels would have been proclaiming it for a whole month. It kind of awakens the spirit of the festivity really early, with Sun Tvs special programs and new movie ads, 'Indhiya tholaikaatchigalil mudhan muraiyaga.... Thiraikku vandhu sila maadhangalae aana... Super hit thirai padam', believe me, things are not the same without hearing those once annoying television commercials. Then to add on to the proclamation of the approaching festivity would be the huge speakers that are raised in the streets, that sing Bakthi songs in the evenings. Well you must be thinking that I am happily away from those kind of disturbances sitting here, but actually I am not enjoying but I miss those really loud songs. I miss trying to study in those deafening sounds. I miss the fun and feeling of festivity.
The next things would have been how good I would feel that day. Well, waking up early and taking bath and getting ready for the pooja made me feel good. Then I would go out to get the pooja items, a small pillaiyar freshly made in the morning, a colorful umbrella for him, a small garland made from this favourite flower. While others are bargaining for a good price for the Vinayagar, I would get it for whatever price the seller asks for, and buy the garland from those kids who come running behind saying 'Akka... en kitta vaangikko ka...'., and even give them an extra rupee than what they ask for. Well, I know these are highly inconspicuous acts of kindness but it still made me feel (selfishly) good. Then back home, it would be time to clean all the Gods and decorate them, which has always been my favorite tasks to do. By that time amma would have called me for making Kolukattais. While she is trying hard to make them is the proper shape, so that the stuffing doesn't come out and also to make them as soon as possible, I would be employing my annoying creativity to create suns and moons and stars out of them. Once the kolukattais are ready, the pooja is done and then it is time for all those infinite special television shows. Dad wouldn't miss the Solomon Pappayya's patti mandram and we enjoy it too. The day doesn't end there, it is complete only after waiting till midnight when Vinayagar from the nearby temple is taken in a procession to every street and everyone waits outside their houses with their offerings for God. The glimpse of the God and whole heartedly offering what we have completes the day.
At this point my flashback spiral gets cut, with my husband saying, 'Its ok da. The kolukattai's taste good. They are just a little out of shape'. I smile and I say to myself that I am not going to miss this day next year and I am going to get my Kolukattai's right next time. It would be the closest that I could get to celebrating Vinayagar Chathurthi in US with no speakers, so suntv, no fresh mud pillaiyar, no colorful umbrellas, no erukalam poo maalai, no solomon paapayya, and no processions!
My brain woke up with a start, 'Wait, a minute... Did he just say Vinayagar Chathurthi!'. I woke up instantly and shouted 'When is it?' . He said 'Today.. Well, it is almost the end of the day in India.' I then barked at him for not letting me know earlier. I immediately called my mom and asked (well, I couldn't bark at her) her why she didn't tell me and I was kind of cursing the whole world for not letting me know. I was angry at everyone because I was actually angry over myself for missing the day. You must be wondering, 'Why so much tension? What if you had forgotten? It is ok'. But somehow I couldn't make myself feel that way. I felt utterly irresponsible, and mostly because Vinayagar is my favourite God. I am not sure if it is 'bakthi', but His thoughts have always made me feel good. It could be because of the stories that my grandmom used to tell me about him when I was a kid. It could be because of how she taught me how to bathe the idol and decorate him with flowers at our nearest temple. It could be because I used to amuse myself in collecting different mini idols of Him. It could be because his temple was very close to our house and I used to visit him almost everyday when I was in India. Whatever be the reason, I always felt a kinship with Vinayagar and missing his birthday felt like forgetting a clsoe friend's birthday.
Then we left for our friend's place, and yes they had finished the pooja and served us kolukattai. It did make me feel better, cos atleast that instilled a sense of festivity in me but still it was not the same. Things still didn't feel like how it is in India, like how it is at home. I did try to pacify Vinayagar by making kolukattai a week later, but I messed it up too. I looked at the messed up Kolukattai's and kept thinking that this doesn't feel like Vinyagar Chathurthi at all. (Now, at this point I see a spiral - symbolic for flashback in our Indian movies, and that brings to me memories of a typical Vinayagar Chathurthi at home)
The very first difference being, I would have known it is Vinayagar Chathurthi because that would have been a holiday and all the tv channels would have been proclaiming it for a whole month. It kind of awakens the spirit of the festivity really early, with Sun Tvs special programs and new movie ads, 'Indhiya tholaikaatchigalil mudhan muraiyaga.... Thiraikku vandhu sila maadhangalae aana... Super hit thirai padam', believe me, things are not the same without hearing those once annoying television commercials. Then to add on to the proclamation of the approaching festivity would be the huge speakers that are raised in the streets, that sing Bakthi songs in the evenings. Well you must be thinking that I am happily away from those kind of disturbances sitting here, but actually I am not enjoying but I miss those really loud songs. I miss trying to study in those deafening sounds. I miss the fun and feeling of festivity.
The next things would have been how good I would feel that day. Well, waking up early and taking bath and getting ready for the pooja made me feel good. Then I would go out to get the pooja items, a small pillaiyar freshly made in the morning, a colorful umbrella for him, a small garland made from this favourite flower. While others are bargaining for a good price for the Vinayagar, I would get it for whatever price the seller asks for, and buy the garland from those kids who come running behind saying 'Akka... en kitta vaangikko ka...'., and even give them an extra rupee than what they ask for. Well, I know these are highly inconspicuous acts of kindness but it still made me feel (selfishly) good. Then back home, it would be time to clean all the Gods and decorate them, which has always been my favorite tasks to do. By that time amma would have called me for making Kolukattais. While she is trying hard to make them is the proper shape, so that the stuffing doesn't come out and also to make them as soon as possible, I would be employing my annoying creativity to create suns and moons and stars out of them. Once the kolukattais are ready, the pooja is done and then it is time for all those infinite special television shows. Dad wouldn't miss the Solomon Pappayya's patti mandram and we enjoy it too. The day doesn't end there, it is complete only after waiting till midnight when Vinayagar from the nearby temple is taken in a procession to every street and everyone waits outside their houses with their offerings for God. The glimpse of the God and whole heartedly offering what we have completes the day.
At this point my flashback spiral gets cut, with my husband saying, 'Its ok da. The kolukattai's taste good. They are just a little out of shape'. I smile and I say to myself that I am not going to miss this day next year and I am going to get my Kolukattai's right next time. It would be the closest that I could get to celebrating Vinayagar Chathurthi in US with no speakers, so suntv, no fresh mud pillaiyar, no colorful umbrellas, no erukalam poo maalai, no solomon paapayya, and no processions!
2 comments:
Hi! Kolukkattai girl. Nice to read your Kolu... pillaiyar pooja. Get up early next year and offer every one with Prasadham of kolukkattai. I still await your colorful presentation of your thoughts,
By,
PD
De, we dont get it all - but we can get something close - we saw Salamon Pappaya's patti mandram in techsathish.net and put youtube videos of crackers loudly for Diwali :D. We made Pillaiyar from play-doh last time, but it wouldnt dissolve in water only!!!
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